Believing is Seeing

A friend posted a blog entitled, “Living Single in a Couple’s World”.  I found it quite interesting because I am single, and most of my friends are, too.  At least, that’s how I perceive it.  I suppose if I really tallied up everyone I know, I might find that I DO know more folks that are coupled, but why would I bother?

When I had been divorced for a year or two, I began to lament that “Only men over 50 and in marginal health are attracted to me.”  That was my experience.  It ticked me off.  Then one day, I was smacked in the face with the reality:  by saying that over and over, I was creating it in my life.  YIKES.

I changed my mindset.  I told my mother, “You know, younger men find me irresistible.”  I told my friends, “Older guys used to hit on me all the time, but now I’m finding that younger men are really attracted to me.”  I said things like that for a few weeks, maybe a month.  I felt silly as I said it, and passed it off as kind of a joke rather than a matter of fact.  Here’s the crazy part:  in about a month, 3 men in their 20’s hit on me.  Seriously hit on me.  I told them how old I was and they said that they didn’t care.

Now I am not a cradle robber but I am not criticizing women who prefer significantly younger men.  Frankly, I think that it’s about time that the “age is just a number” concept began to be applicable to both genders.  I just have no interest in it.  I have a hard time finding a man my own age that is mature enough for my liking.  The point is, I found that whatever came out of my mouth began to come into my life.  When I bellyached about older men, I got older men.  When I bragged about younger men, they appeared, too.

If I think I live in a world of people who are mostly like me, I will see people who are mostly like me; single.  If I think I live in a world of people who are not like me, I will see couples everywhere.  If I think all men are pigs, I will see pigs.  I happen to think that most men are good guys, and guess what?  Either scum bag men avoid me, or I just don’t happen to know any (okay, maybe a couple).  I know a whole bunch of really nice, loving and kind men.

I try to live in a world of abundance.  Sometimes I get stressed out when I see the waves around me; my chest gets tight, it’s hard to breathe and I want to burst into tears.  I feel like a total loser and I’m falling apart.  I feel ridiculous stating that I am incredibly valuable, successful and highly sought-after as a Project Manager.  But I know that if I can begin to see myself that way, I will become it.

So here is my affirmation for today (feel free to borrow it):

I am an amazingly capable woman. I am really proud of the work I do at this wonderful company.  My coworkers respect me and my boss adores me.  I am grateful for my generous salary that reflects my high value.  I have more than enough money to pay my bills, save for my daughter’s education, give generously to charity and save for my future.  I am truly blessed in every aspect of my life.  I must be one of God’s most favorite daughters, because He spoils me so very much.

I will choose for THIS to be my truth.

As far as the single vs. couple issue goes; I feel the need to be single at this point in my life.  I am complete, whole, and full just as I am.  I have many people that I love and that love me.  There are some things that I need to work on in myself right now and it is easier for me to do this without the distraction of a partner.  When the time is right, I will add a statement about romance into my affirmation.  For now, this is enough.

I am enough.

There is an abundance of everything I need in my life already.  I will open my eyes fully and embrace the truth that benefits me.  It is everywhere, I simply need to choose to see it.

My book, Dating, Sex, & Jesus is now available at Please “like” the Dating, Sex, & Jesus Facebook page at: for fun and interesting content and book excerpts in your feed. Thanks!


About howhardcoulditbe

While this started as a chronicle of my many (sometimes ill-conceived) "Do It Yourself" projects, it has morphed into a journal of my 9-year journey as a single Christian woman striving to live by God's design.
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One Response to Believing is Seeing

  1. Love this! The power of positive thinking 🙂

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